Hope's National Park: A Feeling of Despair
by wmsm5ever
Summary: (This is a parody fic. Not meant to be taken seriously.) Reiko Hiruko, our courageous protagonist, wants to be the very best like no one ever was. He joins Hope's Peak Academy as the SHSL Good Luck! But then something odd happens... Leading Reiko, and 16 other brand new students to fight it out in a National Park Life of Mutual Killing!
1. Kawaii Introductions

**AN: WELP IT'S BEEN A WHILE, BUT I'M BACK AND READY TO WRITE MORE FANFICTION! Um.. Sorry for those of you who are waiting on Fournier Academy and A life of new hope to update! I actually had a pretty bad case of writers block, but I'm back! And updates for BOTH of those fics are coming very very soon!**

**But this is another parody fic of mine... Imagine my fic "A life of new hope." But with better grammar and my own characters. This is what that will be. Oh, and with more details and stuff. I'm going to consider this borderline parody/serious. Basically the characters and scenarios are going to be... Well... Crackfic like. However, I'm considering adding actual serious mystery plot onto this fic, meaning that the murders will... Well... May or may not actually be mysteries.**

**So without further ado... Enjoy!**

* * *

Hello there! My name is Reiko Hiruko. I'm a brand new student at Hope's Peak Academy For the Hopelessly Hopeful Hope Enthusiastically Hoplessly Hope Induced Hopeful! But we just call it Hope's Peak Academy For the Hopelessly Hopeful Hope Enthusiastically Hoplessly Hope Induced Hopeful No Despair Allowed Hopefully There Is No Despair Hopeful Academy For The Gifted for short. In hindsight they likely should have named it something shorter, but this isn't the point!

The point is, I made it into Hope's Peak Academy For the Hopelessly Hopeful Hope Enthusiastically Hoplessly Hope Induced Hopeful No Despair Allowed Hopefully There Is No Despair Hopeful Academy For The Gifted. And I'm really excited! I can just tell that this will be an exciting adventure for me! I'm ready to hop into the wonderful world of this school! Oh and by the way, I'm the Super High School Level Good Luck. I'm really not sure why I'm called that though.

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL GOOD LUCK- REIKO HIRUKO**

_(Yeah you already know about Dangan Ronpa and the SHSL Good Luck yadda yadda basically Reiko's dumb and has no business being at Hope's Peak Academy For the Hopelessly Hopeful Hope Enthusiastically Hoplessly Hope Induced Hopeful No Despair Allowed Hopefully There Is No Despair Hopeful Academy For The Gifted.)_

I got ready to enter the school, but the moment my feet made contact with the floor...

It felt like I was smoking weed while tripping on acid and popping mollies. The whole world was spinning around me. At first I thought that I was high, but then I realized, I don't do any of that because I'm a good student.

"I must have been smoking some dank ass kush." I said. And then I passed out.

When I woke up, I found myself in a classroom.

"OMG YOU'RE SO KAWAII WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING!" A girl with long blue pigtails and a sailor suit said to be.

"AHHH!" I screamed. "Wh-Who are you?"

"Oh! My name is Ashley McCarter, but you can call me by my official Weeaboo name! Hatsune KawaiiNipples!"

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL WEEABOO- HATSUNE KAWAIINIPPLES**

_(Info: Hatsune KawaiiNipples is a fan of all things weeaboo. She brings back painful war memories of our weeaboo pasts (If you say you don't have one you're a fricking liar) and she really enjoys things of kawaii nature.)_

"So why are you sleeping in the middle of the classroom you silly baka?" Hatsune asked.

"I... I don't know! I just woke up here!" I said.

Hatsune smiled. "Orientation was over 30 minutes ago!"

I screamed. "30 MINUTES AGO? WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP EARLIER?"

"Teehee x3 You were just so sugoi kawaii desu when you were sleeping that I didn't want to wake you up. Nyan! XD"

Then suddenly we heard the announcements come on. "WHY ARE YOU FR*CKERS STILL IN THE CLASSROOM? YOU MUST COME TO THE GYM AT ONCE. I SHALL MAKE SURE THAT THIS LATENESS WILL BE ON YOUR SCHOOOOOOOLLLL RECORD!"

"Oh no! Why do you gotta be such a baka announcer-kun? D:" Hatsune asked.

"INSULTING A TEACHER?" The announcements said. "THIS IS GOING ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD, MS. KAWAIINIPPLES!"

Hatsune raised her eyebrows in shock. "B-But! No! Baka! I'm MRS KawaiiNipples, not MS KawaiiNipples! I'm married! To all my anime boyfriends! :3"

I looked around. I though that it was probably a good time to get to the gym.

"I think this is a good time to get to the gym." I said. "There's still like 16 students to meet!"

"Haha! Silly Baka! Counting me and you there's only 14 students to-"

I decided it was best to cut her dialogue off with a scene change. I found myself opening the doors the the gym, only to find several unamused faces looking at me.

"Yes! Proceed to look upon the weeaboo and normal kid with shame!" A male said. He had short brown hair and dark blue eyes. It was the same person who yelled at us over the intercom.

"You sounded a lot like a woman..." I said. The man glared at me.

"THIS WILL GO ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD!" He yelled. "ANYWAYS, IT IS HALF PAST TIME FOR AN INTRODUCTION! MY NAME IS SEIICHI KINTARO. DISPLEASURE TO MEET YOU!"

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL TEACHERS PET- SEIICHI KINTARO**

_(Info: Nobody really likes Seiichi to be honest. He's super uptight about the rules, kind of like Ishimaru, but worse, and unlike Ishimaru this guy has no appeal to the fandom whatsoever. But yeah he likes rules and following rules and is the son of the principal at Hope's Peak Academy For the Hopelessly Hopeful Hope Enthusiastically Hoplessly Hope Induced Hopeful No Despair Allowed Hopefully There Is No Despair Hopeful Academy For The Gifted, so he can put things on your school record at will. Beware of Seiichi Kintaro.)_

"Like, omfg can u like, not like, go on about like, putting things on school records and stuff?" A girl with a blonde ponytail asked. "Like, seriously, like, I'm gonna text my BFFFFFFFFL Kimberly about this."

Seiichi gasped. "TEXTING DURING SCHOOL? THIS IS GOING ON YOUR SCHOOL RECORD! WHAT IS YOUR NAME YOUNG LADY?!" Seiichi yelled.

"Like, my name is Josephine Kimberly Kelly Addison Kayla Kylie Emily Abigail Text it the third, but you can call me Emma for short!"

"B-But... Emma isn't even one of your names..." I said.

"Like, IKR! Lolz!" Emma said.

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL SMARTICLES- JOSEPHINE "EMMA" TEXT IT III**

_(Info: I really don't know why Emma is even at this school to be honest. But the principal of the school with the long ass name saw potential in her. They liked her "INTELLIGINTS" and "SMARTICLES" Hence the name. Emma loves cellular phones, texting, twitter, duck faces, and starbucks coffee. Her best friend is known as Kimberly, and they are "totes BFFFFFFFFLs!")_

"But we must retain seriousness... The situation we're in is quite dire, and very questionable. Would you not agree?" Emma asked. Everyone looked at her in shock. "I mean... Uh... Hashtag text it?" She said.

"Oh..." Everyone said.

"Hashtag yeah" Emma said. I decided it was best to move on to the next person before it was too late. I came up to a girl with dark skin, and green hair tied into two low pigtails.

"Hi! You seem normal. What's your name?" I asked her with a smile. She grinned and looked at me.

"Shine brite lyk a diamond!" She said.

"Uh... What?" I asked her.

She looked at me with uncertain eyes, "Shine brite lyk a diamond!"

"I... I'd like to know your name..." I said.

"Her name is Sha'Diamond." A male with long brown hair said. "I'm a psychic, I could read it in her soul."

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL DIAMOND ENTHUSIAST- SHA'DIAMOND**

_(At this point i don't even know what's wrong with the principal of this school... *Sigh* Sha'Diamond literally doesn't say anything else besides "Shine brite lyk a diamond." which is a quote from an egotistical song by Lolita Rihanna. I assume that this is what earned her her title as a Diamond Enthusiast.)_

I looked at the psychic with uncertainty. "So... You're a psychic? What's your name?"

He turned towards me and glared, his red eyes were very piercing. Almost like blood if blood in Dangan Ronpa was red instead of hot pink. Of course blood is and always will be hot pink, end of story. "My name... Is Leaf Mealone."

"Okay! I'll leave you alone! Just don't get mad at me like that!" I said, offended by his rudeness.

"No I mean my name is Leaf. And my last name is Mealone." Leaf said.

I sighed. "Oh... That makes sense."

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL PSYCHIC- LEAF MEALONE**

_(Info: I'm PREEEEEETY sure the school chose him not for his psychic abilities, but for the terrible pun that is his name. Leaf is a good psychic, unlike Hagakure. Leaf's predictions are right close to 90% of the time. He also does tarot readings, telekinesis, and future predictions. And he doesn't charge a lot of money unlike Hagakure.)_

"I can see into the narration... And I agree... They chose me because of my name... Laugh it up, I know."

Emma looked at Leaf. "No. You had absolutely no choice in your naming. You shouldn't get upset over that. It's your surname, be proud of your heritage."

Everyone stared at Emma with shock.

"I... Uh... Mean... Hashtag stupid name?" Emma said. Everyone then looked away.

"So... Reiko was it? Would you like to chat?" Leaf asked.

"No... Because I still have other people that I need to meet!" I said.

**_STUDENTS MET SO FAR;_**

**_Reiko Hiruko_**

**_Hatsune KawaiiNipples_**

**_Seiichi Kintaro_**

**_Josephine "Emma" Text It III_**

**_Sha'Diamond_**

**_Leaf Mealone_**


	2. Hashtags and Magical Girls

I looked around the gym. All around me were people conversating, and Seiichi was yelling at people. I could just tell that I was going to make so many friends this year! It was exciting, exhilarating, it was-

"INTERNAL MONO LOGGING IN MY SCHOOL ZONE?" Seiichi yelled at me. What was this dude's problem? "THIS IS GOING ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD!"

"Can you not?!" A girl with long blonde pigtails yelled at him. "Seiichi, I understand you're all for keeping the sanctity of a school environment, but can you just SHUT YOUR FREAKING TRAP FOR 3 SECONDS?"

"Yelling at an authority figure? THIS IS GOING ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD!" Seiichi yelled. Then he looked over, and saw Emma texting on her phone. "CELLULAR PHONES ARE NOT PERMITTED UNLESS THE TEACHER SAYS SO. GIVE IT TO ME THIS INSTANT, MS. TEXT IT III."

"LIKE, NO!" Emma yelled

"YES!" Seiichi yelled.

"LIKE, NO!" Emma yelled.

"I'm pretty sure that they're gonna go on like this for a while." The girl said to me.

I could feel myself blushing at the girl. "I uh... Never had anyone stand up for me before." And then I watched as she blushed too... But from afar... Hatsune was glaring.

"My name is Midori Nami... Who are you?" Midori asked.

I blushed. "Reiko Hiruko... Super High School Level Good Luck..."

"WHAT?!" Midori yelled. "That can't be... Because I'M the Super High School Level Good Luck!"

"What?"

_**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL GOOD LUCK- MIDORI NAMI**_

_(Info: The principal must have gotten lazy when searching for talents... Otherwise, there wouldn't be two SHSL Good Lucks.)_

"TWO PEOPLE... WITH THE SAME TALENT? THIS IS UNNACEPTABLE. THIS IS UBELIEVEABLE! THIS IS-" Seiichi was suddenly cut off when Hatsune came through and tackled Midori to the ground... and started slapping her.

"NO! THE KAWAII BOY IS MY BOYFRIEND! I SAW HIM FIRST YOU BAKA! SUMI MA SEN!"

"Wh-What?!" Midori yelled, confused as to what was going on. I could only help but wonder... What was wrong with Hatsune?

"R-Reiko! Do you know this girl?" Midori yelled at me.

"Never seen her in my life." I lied.

"WHAT? BAKA! BAKABAKABAKABAKA! W-WAIT!" Hatsune yelled. "I GET IT! YOU'RE JUST BEING TSUNDERE! HOW SUGOI KAWAII INUYASHA OF YOU REIKO-CHAN! NYAN! :3"

"God dammit."

"S-STOP THIS FIGHTING AT ONCE! MRS. KAWAIINIPPLES... MS. NAMI! THIS IS GOING ON YOUR SCHOOL RECORD!"

"#StopIt" a girl said, saying hashtag at the beginning.

"W-What?" Nami Asked.

"#Don'tDoThat" she said.

"O-Oh... Gomenassai..." Hatsune said to Midori.

"Whoa... You managed to stop a fight, Miss! I'll make sure to give you credit for this!" Seiichi exclaimed. "What's your name?"

"#HastagRenee #ButMyTwitterNameIs #AtRenee'sParadise"

_**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL TWITTER USER- HASHTAG RENEE**_

_(Info: Her first name is literally Hashtag. It was originally just Renee, but she changed it to Hashtag Renee... Literally... I'm done with the principal of this school.)_

"Well Ms... Hashtag Renee... I trust that you won't be using twitter at school?" Seiichi asked. Truth be told I was really close to punching him in the face, but I couldn't because that would be morally wrong V_V

"#No" Renee said. "#SentOver300Tweets #InThePastMinute #NewRecord"

"Shine brite lyk a diamond." Sha'Diamond said.

"Who Hashtag Renee you're so cool!" Hatsune said.

"#Thanks" Renee said.

"Well personally, I think that Hashtag Renee is horrible." A girl with the left side of her head shaved.

"You baka little shinigami." Hatsune began. "Sumi mas sen! Doki Doki! Desu! Baka!"

"Oh shut it you'll likely be the first one to die." The girl said.

"Who are you?" I asked. I was really angry that she dissed Hashtag Renee like that.

"My name is Hinako Arasaki. And I own this school now."

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL REBEL- HINAKO ARASAKI**

_(Info: I wonder why the principal invited a rebel to the school... I really don't know. Maybe it's because Hinako seems to be the only normal one here besides Midori? I really can't tell)_

"Like, OMG why do you even say that?" Emma asked. "You are like, TOTES not the boss of me. You can't own something that's mine!"

Hinako grinned, and walked over to Emma.

"Emma is right!" Seiichi began. "This school bel-"

"**SHUT UP SEIICHI!**" Everyone yelled.

But then I was shocked! :O Because Hinako was beating up Emma! Everyone was cheering them on, and Seiichi was screaming something about order. I don't know what's funnier; The dumb one getting her ass beat or Seiichi crying.

"Maybe with a little MAGIC we can stop this fighting!" A guy in a magicians suit said. "Hocus Twerkteam Pocus!" He yelled, and then he waved a wand... And then Hinako was tied up! :O

"How did you do that?" I asked.

"You can do anything with MAGIC!" he told me. "My name is Rain Clovefield. But you must refer to me by my stage name, tHE CAPTIVATING CLOVEFIELD!"

"Okay... Mr. THE CAPTIVATING CLOVEFIELD" I said. Rain looked at me.

"No. Not "THE CAPTIVATING CLOVEFIELD" It's "tHE CAPTIVATING CLOVEFIELD!" You gotta add the lowercase t and exclamation mark."

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL MAGICIAN- RAIN CLOVEFIELD**

_(Info: I'm pretty sure this guy is a witch... Why he's at Hope's Peak Academy For the Hopelessly Hopeful Hope Enthusiastically Hoplessly Hope Induced Hopeful No Despair Allowed Hopefully There Is No Despair Hopeful Academy For The Gifted I will never know.)_

"...Yeah okay you're boring I'm going to go." Reiko said.

"But... But! D:" Rain said.

I then walked up to this boy with blonde hair wearing a pretty pink dress... At least I think it's a boy...

"I am a boy..." The boy said.

"Wha-How could you hear my internal monologging?!"

"Teehee! Don't you get it? I'm a Magical Girl! My name is Naoto Usagi! But... When I transform... I become Sailor Kawaii... Protector of honor, integrity, and all things kawaii and desu!" Naoto said.

**_SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL MAGICAL GIRL- NAOTO USAGI_**

_(Info: Naoto is a magical girl... But he's a boy... But still a magical girl. Why he's not called a magical boy is beyond me... But basically when he transforms he becomes the magical Sailor Kawaii... Looks like Hatsune has some competition.)_

"Looks like I have some competition des!" Hatsune said. I thought the exact same thing.

"Excuse me?" Naoto said.

"Only I am permitted to protect the sanctity of Kawaii! You stupid baka!" Hatsune said. And then Hatsune punched Naoto in the face! :O

**_TO BE CONTINUED..._**

**_STUDENTS MET SO FAR;_**

**_Reiko Hiruko_**

**_Hatsune KawaiiNipples_**

**_Seiichi Kintaro_**

**_Josephine "Emma" Text It III_**

**_Sha'Diamond_**

**_Leaf Mealone_**

**_Midori Nami_**

**_Hashtag Renee_**

**_Hinako Arasaki_**

**_Rain Clovefield _**

**_Naoto Usagi_**

* * *

(AN: Whoa Cliffhanger! :O So what will happen with the fight between Hatsune and Naoto? Well, you're gonna have to stick around and find out! Be sure to review and let me know what you think! Next chapter I'll have the rest of the cast introduced, and then plot things can happen!)


	3. Royalty, A Shota, and More Drama

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Midori Screamed.

"#Screaming" Renee screamed.

"Yeah!" The weeaboo screamed. "What now baka!?"

Naoto's eyes were widened with shocked, tears began to fill his eyes. "W-Why would you hit... The all mighty sailor kawaii?" he asked. Then he began to cry.

"MAKING A GIRL CRY? THIS WILL GO ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD!" Seiichi yelled.

"Naoto's a boy..." Midori said to him.

"WHAT?! O.o" Seiichi yelled.

"#Yeah #YouSlow" Renee said.

"Hahahaha! Isn't this school just so GREAT?! :D" A girl said.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"My name's Haruno Heureux! And I'm the happiest of happiness! :D"

_**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL HAPPINESS- HARUNO HEUREUX **_

_(Info: I give up)_

"So your talent is... Being happy?" I asked Haruno. Haruno grinned.

"Yup! I'm REALLY HAPPY! :D" Haruno said.

"So... What you're saying is... If gay means happy... you could say you're really fucking gay?" Hinako smirked. Haruno nodded. But then Seiichi slapped Hinako.

"NO USING THINGS THAT AREN'T INSULTS IN MY SCHOOL ZONE!" Seiichi yelled?

Hinako looked mad. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I WAS JUST SAYING? SHE'S REALLY HAPPY!"

"AH! THAT IS MOST ACCEPTABLE THEN!" Seiichi said. "CARRY ON!"

"Heeheehee! I'm just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy to be here!" Haruno said.

"Yes you've... Said that multiple times now." I said.

"But it's just because I-"

I was tired of her the moment I saw her, so instead I decided to do a talent swap au time warp!

**ONE TIME WARP LATER...**

"HIIIII! I'M HARUNO HEUREUX! SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL CHEERLEADER!"

Well...

At least she has a reason to be so damn happy-go-lucky

**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL CHEERLEADER- HARUNO HEUREUX **

"Okay I think that's enough of you u stupid baka x3" Hatsune said. "Because hatsune kawaiinipples is the new protagonist! Nyan! Watashi am your new leaderrrrrr! x3"

"#NoYouNot" Renee said. "#GetOffTheDamnScreen"

"Like, no." Emma said.

":( baka..." Hatsune said.

"Okay... sooooo... who's left for me to meet?" I asked. Then suddenly a girl with long, flowing brown hair and a totally kawaii princess dress walked up to me.

"YOU SHOULD MEET THE SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL SHOTA! :D" she yelled.

I was confused. "Wait... There's a shota here too?"

"Yup! :3 It's not Dangan Ronpa without a loli or shota!" she said.

"Well this is barely Dangan Ronpa at a- WAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT YOU MEAN TO TELL YOU CAN BREAK THE FOURTH WALL?!"

"Huh? No... I'm just saying..." She said. "Anyways, my name is Arabelle. BUT MA FULL NAME BE ARABELLE SNOW WHITE CINDERELLA SLEEPING BEAUTY ARIELDALITTLEMERMAID BELLE JASMINE POCAHONTAS MULAN TIANA RAPUNZEL MERIDA DA'PRINCESSES IV"

**_SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL REJECTED DISNEY PRINCESS- ARABELLE DA'PRINCESS IV_**

"So... What's your super high school level?" I asked... And then I realized I'd regret it.

"I BE DA SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL REJECTED PRINCESS!" Arabelle said to me. "DEY HAD TOLD ME DAT DAT SONIA NEVERMIND BICH HAD REPLACED ME. AND I WAS JUST LIKE BOIIIIIIIII DA MOMENT YOU SEE ME YOU GONE BE LIKE 'SONIA, NEVERMIND, BECAUSE ARABELLE DA'PRINCESS IS DA BEST.' BUT DEN THEY ACCEPTED HER INTO THE SECOND GAME AND NOT ME! D: I DON'T KNOW WHY!"

"I think I know why..." Reiko added. Then he walked away.

"#bitchucrazy" Renee said to Arabelle.

Reiko, however, did take Arabelle's advice. He approached a shota with short brown hair.

"BUT I WANT CANDY!" the shota yelled in a deep, manly voice.

"I... I don't have candy!" A male with short blonde hair, a green hat, and a sash yelled.

"But... You're a girl scout! YOU HAVE TO HAVE CANDY! D:" the shota yelled.

"Girl scout? No! I'm a boy scout you fr*cking shota!"

"oh... damn" the shota said. "so the only thing you have to sell is homophobia v_v a sad but true reality."

"what" the boy scout said.

"nevermind, i'm gonna go get drunk off my ass. TOODLES!" the shota waved.

I approached the boy scout, he waved at me.

"Who was that... And who are you?" I asked.

"Oh... That's... Um... That's Hiyoko Kuzuryuu Fujisaki, Not to be confused with the other shotas of dangan ronpa, Chihiro Fujisaki, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, and Hiyoko Saionji."

**_SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL ULTIMATE SHOTA- HIYOKO FUJISAKI_**

"Well... And I'm Luka Hisako, Super High School Level Boy Scout Troop Leader!" Luka told me.

_**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL BOY SCOUT TROOP LEADER- LUKA HISAKO**_

"Well... It's nice to meet you, Luka!" I said, grinning. Luka just shot me a glare.

"YOU DO NOT ADDRESS YOUR LEADER LIKE THAT, YOU HEAR ME SOLDIER?!" He yelled. It made me crie :(

"HA! LOOK AT THE LITTLE BABY CRYING ON THE FLOOR!" Hiyoko Fujisaki yelled at me. And then he dropped his candy. And then HE started crying :(

A male wearing a black scarf sighed. "I'm surrounded by a bunch of idiots..."

"LIKE, OMFG, OKITA, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW UR TALENT!" Emma yelled.

"#Yea" Renee began. "#DontBeAHypocrite"

"Shine brite lyk a diamond." Sha'Diamond said.

"Who dis?" I asked them.

"That's the MAGICAL MIRACLE GIRL, OKITA TOKUTA!" Naoto said to me.

"And he doesn't even know his talent! T_T such baka..." Hatsune said.

"He's rather dumb if you ask me!" Hiyoko yelled.

_**SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL ?- OKITA TOKUTA**_

"Excuse me? It's not my fault I can't remember my talent... But whatever it is, I'm sure it's better than... SHSL Weeaboo, and SHSL Ultimate Shota."

"Booboo ur just mad because YOU don't have the SHSL Ultimate Shota." Hiyoko teased. "I bet you're just something boring like SHSL Shota, or even SHSL Mediocre But Kind Of Good Shota."

"What did you just say to me?" Okita said.

"What, Boring talent?" Hiyoko asked.

"NO!" Okita yelled, causing everyone in the room to look at him. "NOBODY. CALLS. OKITA. TOKUTA. BOOBOO. AND LIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!"

"Ooh dis done reminded me of da time in my hit novel, "Detective La'Queesha and Da Murder at Walmart."

Everyone gasped. Because it was the hit ghetto mystery novel author, Alisha Orlando!

**_SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL GHETTO MYSTERY NOVEL AUTHOR- ALISHA ORLANDO_**

"I've read that one!" Midori yelled with excitement. "That's the one where Shiyoko calls Shmokita BooBoo and then Shmokita hits Shiyoko with a glass bottle, kills him, and then blames it on Shmasha'Diamond.

"WHY WOOD U EVEN DO THAT? NOW I'M SPOILED! :(" Rain yelled. "THIS IS NOT MAGICAL! :("

"Everything is magical with Naoto Usagi!" Naoto said with a kitty face.

"NAOTO CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT FOR LIKE 3 SECONDS GEEZ NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR FAKE SAILOR MOON IDENTITY!" Rain yelled.

":(" Naoto said.

And then a voice came over the intercom.

"Welcome to the new school year!" the annoying voice said. "It's time to get orientation started... And OOOOOOHHHH GUUUURRRRRRL DIS SCHOOL YEAR IS GONNA BE. DA BOMB!"

**_STUDENT ROSTER;_**

**_Reiko Hiruko_**

**_Hatsune KawaiiNipples_**

**_Seiichi Kintaro_**

**_Josephine "Emma" Text It III_**

**_Sha'Diamond_**

**_Leaf Mealone_**

**_Midori Nami_**

**_Hashtag Renee_**

**_Hinako Arasaki_**

**_Rain Clovefield_**

**_Naoto Usagi_**

**_Haruno Heureux _**

**_Arabelle Da'Princess IV_**

**_Hiyoko Fujisaki_**

**_Luka Hisako_**

**_Okita Tokuta_**

**_Alisha Orlando_**

* * *

_**(AN: Now that you've met all of the students, you guys can start voting on who you want to be featured in the Freetime events! :O Basically, per case, there will be 3 freetime events total. Meaning you can vote for 3 students to be featured in said freetime events. Let me know who you want to be in the WONDABAR FREETIME EVENT SPECTACULAR in the reviews.**_

_**Also, For no reason at all, I've made a poll on my profile asking about who your FAVORITE character from this story is so far! :O So be sure to check that out!**_

_**Now stay tuned for when the EPIC MUTUAL KILLING OF LIFE AND DEATH AND DESPAIR WITH A LITTLE BIT OF HOPE BUT WAY MORE DESPAIR SPECTACULAR begins! :D)**_


	4. Usami's Magical Gucci Bag of Death

_**(AN: woa guys i workd rly hrd on dis chapter. dnt forget 2 vote 4 hte freetime events nd go on my profile 2 vote 4 ur fav chara :O)**_

* * *

Everyone looked at each other in shock. What was standing in front of us... Was this stupid ass pink bunny.

My face was then met by Hatsune's fist.

"YOU STUPID BAKA! THAT BUNNY IS SUGOIIIII KAWAIIIIIII!" She said with a gleam in her eyes.

"Thank you ms KawaiiNipples." The bunny said in a lispy voice. "My name is Magical Miracle Girl Usami! But you can call me Usami for showt."

"M-Magical girl?" Naoto questioned. "Y-You mean like... Me?"

"Yes!" Usami exclaimed with what could be presumed as a smile. "Except I'm not a basic bitch wike you."

"#YouGoGirl" Renee said.

Naoto rolled his eyes. "Oh hardy har har."

"Hmph... Miss... Usami... Please explain yourself..." Okita demanded.

"What do I have to expwain? I'm Usami! Your headmaster!"

"A STUFFED ANIMAL ACTING AS OUR HEADMASTER? THIS IS MOST UNACCEPTABLE AND WILL NOT GO UNPUNISHED." Seiichi yelled.

"Like, OMFG, I refuse to be told what to do by a stuffed rabbit!" Emma disobeyed.

"P-Pwease... You aww... Awe making m-m-me cwyyyyyyy! :("

"You made the kawaii rabbit cry! D:" Hatsune yelled.

"AND NOW YOU WILL PAY THE PRICE!" Usami yelled in a satanic tone. "WE WILL NOW DECIDE YOUR PUNISHMENT... BY PICKING FROM "**USAMI'S MAGICAL GUCCI BAG OF DEATH!"**

"#ImScared" Renee said

"SHINE BRITE LYK A DIAMOND!" Sha'Diamond yelled while grabbing her hair.

"THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING! :D" Haruno yelled.

Usami began to hyperventilate. "Bweathe, Usami-chan... Bweathe..." she sighed. "N-now that that's out of the way, wets begin owientation! DIS ORIENTATION FINNA BE RULLY GOOD Y'ALL... BECAUSE WE AIN'T DOING NO ORIENTATION... We're going on a fiewd twip!"

"Uh... A field trip?" I asked. What could she possibly have meant?

"YES BITCH I JUST FUCKIN SAID A FIELD TRIP!" Usami yelled. I jumped. "Heehee! Wets skip ahead a bit so we don't have any mowe usewess diawogue!"

* * *

**"THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND. ROUND AND ROUND. ROUND AND ROUND!"**

(AN: I don't own "The Wheels On the Bus." all song rights and properties go to it's respective owners. PLS DON'T SUE ME MILEY!)

Haruno had been screaming that song for the past 3 hours. We had no idea where we were going, and some even suspected that Usami might be planning on killing us.

"HARUNO IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP I'LL CUT YOU OPEN SO WIDE THE WOUND WILL BE A PORTAL TO FUCKIN DISNEY LAND!" Hinako yelled. Haruno smiled.

"DISNEY LAND?! :D" she yelled. "I LOOOOOOOOOOVE DISNEY LAND! PLEASE DO IT! I WANNA GO TO DISNEY LAND!"

Hinako pulled out a knife and grinned. Several students, including myself, all had a look of concern on our face.

Seiichi hopped over the seat and snatched the knife from Hinako. "KNIVES ARE NOT PERMITTED AT SCHOOL!" He yelled.

"But... We aren't at a school!" Hinako winked. "We're on a bus!"

Seiichi groaned and handed the knife back to Hinako. "Very well, continue on with your... Murder..."

Midori got all wide eyed as Hinako raised the knife, aiming at Haruno, who was still smiling. She quickly snatched the knife away from her. "Seiichi! Hinako! At what point did murder seem ACCEPTABLE?"

Hinako shrugged. "I always murdered to get what I wanted. I don't see what the big deal is!" This caused everyone on the bus to stare at Hinako.

"WHAT?! I'M DA BADDEST BITCH ON DA BLOCK YOU CAN'T JUST MESS WITH ME LIKE DAT AND LIVE!"

"Goodness me..." Okita sighed. "I'm surrounded by idiots..."

Hatsune grinned and wrapped her arm around Okita. "AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT DES~!"

...

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Hinako was scaring me, and I wasn't necessarily a fan of the people I was sitting with;

Hashtag Renee and Alisha Orlando.

"#So... #HowYouTwoDoing." Renee asked. I shrugged, and Alisha grinned.

"OOOOOH BAYBEH I BE GOOD!" she smiled. I had noticed she was writing something in a notebook... And I thought to myself... Why not use this moment to introduce freetime events?

_**FREETIME EVENTS BEGIN!**_

Reiko: Hey Hashtag Renee do you wanna talk for a bit?

Renee: #No

**_END FREETIME EVENTS_**

Dammit. Looks like Renee wasn't in the mood to talk... It's a shame too because she seems really nice. I turned towards Alisha

**_FREETIME EVENTS BEGIN!_**

Reiko: So... Alisha... Wanna talk for a minute?

Alisha: SURE!

Reiko: But... What do we talk about?

Alisha: OOH LET'S TALK ABOUT NOVELS!

**_(Alisha spent the next 3 1/2 hours talking to me about some novel. I didn't really pay much attention to that bullshit because who even reads these days.)_**

**_(But nevertheless... I guess you could say I grew a bit closer with her)_**

**_GUCCI SHARD ACQUIRED  
_**

**_ALISHA ORLANDO'S REPORT CARD HAS BEEN UPDATED_**

**_NUMBER OF GUCCI SHARDS FOR ALISHA ORLANDO; 1_**

Reiko: The hell are these? I haven't even got my student ID how did her report card update?

Alisha: WHATCHU TALKIN BOUT? WHY YOU TALKIN TO YOSELF?

Renee: #HeCrayCray

Reiko: SHUT UP RENEE YOU'RE NOT IN THIS FREETIME EVENT.

**_END FREETIME EVENTS_**

"I hate to cut your freetime session but we've arrived at our destination! It's the wondaful, fantastic, wovey-dovey... HOPE'S NATIONAL PARK! Where we'ww wearn aww about Hope!"

":O" We all said.

**(To be continued...)**


	5. Midori is an Unkawaii Baka

"Hope's... National Park?" I asked. I looked at the scenery; It was exactly as you would expect a National Park to be. It had somewhat pretty scenery, but with a noticeable statue of some guy with large hair. I assumed it was the founder of the park.

"First, we'ww notice the statue. This is the foundew of the park, Nagito Hopelessly Hopeful Hope Enthusiastically Hopelessly Hope Induced Hopeful No Despair Allowed Hopefully There Is No Despair Hopeful Komaeda."

"That sounds kind of familiar..." Luka pointed out.

Usami tilted her head. "Hm...? No It doesn't sound famiwiar to me!"

"It kind of sounds like... Hope's Peak Academy For the Hopelessly Hopeful Hope Enthusiastically Hoplessly Hope Induced Hopeful No Despair Allowed Hopefully There Is No Despair Hopeful Academy For The Gifted..." Luka replied. "Buuuut nevertheless, as a boy scout troop leader, I'm trained to endure the wild!"

"Buuuuut I thought that the boyscouts were a group of homophobes who teach you how to tie a bunch of knots!" Hiyoko said, winking. "Tying knots won't get you anywhere in life... Unless you're trying THE knot, get what I'm sayin'? ;)"

"Excuse me!? Boy scouts are soooo much more than that. We learn to endure the wild, make friends, a-"

"**NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!**" Hiyoko yelled.

"Yes well fwankwy, Wuka, you may be twained to handle the outdoors, but I'm not twained to handle your shitty attitude, so STUFF IT!" Usami yelled.

The area it's self was actually kinda gorgeous. Green trees... Green Grass... Green flowers... And a statue of some tall ass mother fucker with crazy hair... On second thought this piece of shit is boring. I wanted to go back home.

I found Midori getting rather close to me. She had a yellow book in her hands, which she held closely up to her chest.

"Hey, Reiko. Don't you think this is a little... Strange?"

I looked over at Midori with concerned eyes. Yes, I knew it was strange, but that crazy Hatsune Kawaiinipples bitch was likely to attack me at any time. "U-Uh..."

Midori looked over at me with a look of worry on her face. "Eh... What's wrong?"

"OFF. MY. MAN. YOU. BAKA -_-" Hatsune yelled, performing an amazingly far tackle, taking Midori to the ground.

"O-Owch!" Midori called out as Hatsune started Kawaii slapping her. "P-Please, s-stop!"

"HEY! LOOK! THERE'S A FIGHT!" Hinako yelled, taking out her phone which CLEARLY had the words "IFONE" taped onto it... But that bitch ain't fooling nobody.

"F-FIGHTING? DURING AN OFFICIAL SCHOOL EVENT? MISS KAWAIINIPPLES, MISS NAMI! THIS IS GOING ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD!"

Hatsune then had her hands around Midori's neck. "Y-You stupid BITCH!" Midori yelled to Seiichi. "SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!"

"OH MA LAWD!" Seiichi yelled. "MISS USAMI! AREN'T YOU GOING TO STOP THEIR UNNECESSARY FIGHTING?!" Seiichi looked over at Usami, a clear look of fear in his eyes. Only to see that Usami had popcorn, and was eating it.

"Actuawwy, this shit is funny as fuck!" Usami exclaimed with a chuckle.

Naoto sighed. "Looks like the only way to stop this is with a magic blast from my STAFF OF KAWAII..." Naoto raised his staff in the air forcefully...

And hit Hatsune over the head with it. It knocked her off, though.

"Awwwwww... You're no fun!" Hiyoko yelled. "I wanted to see Minori get her head ripped off!"

"It's... M-Midori..." The female choked out.

"Whatever. Blood should have been shed... Heehee! :3"

Okita pinched the bridge of his nose. "Idiots... Anyways, I'd like an explanation from the weeaboo."

"I DO TOO! WHY YOU EVEN LIKE REIKO? HE AIN'T EVEN THAT CUTE ANYWAYS!" Arabelle said.

"H-He r-reminds me of the anime boys that I fantasize about in the bathtub!" Hatsune yelled, tears welling up in her eyes. "A-And that stupid b-baka has a crush on him, des! :( S-So I can't let the baka win... I'm waaaaay more kawaii t-then her! THE ANIME BOY IS MINE!"

"#DisBitchCrazy" Renee said.

"Shine brite lyk a diamond." Sha'Diamond said.

"#YouGotDatRight" Renee replied. Her and Sha'Diamond both nodded. "#Girl #LetsBFriends"

Sha'Diamond smiled and nodded. "Shine brite lyk a diamond."

"#True" Renee continued. "#OurFriendshipReallyDoes #ShineBriteLykADiamond."

"Ah... Now that's what I like to see! Friendship between classmates!" Seiichi yelled, placing his hands on his hips. Holy shit this dude was crazy over school stuff. "AHA! IDEA!" The teacher's pet yelled. I watched as he somehow produced a pair of handcuffs.

"H-Hey! Those are mine!" Rain yelled. "I need those for bondage-I MEAN... Magic!"

Seiichi hastily grabbed Midori, dragging her down to the ground. "What are you doing?!" The brunette exclaimed. I could only sit there and watch as he handcuffed Midori and Hatsune together, before quickly locking the handcuffs.

"I've devised a WONDROUS compromise!" Seiichi yelled. "You two will remain handcuffed together, until you two become friends!"

"B-BAKA! UNTIE ME FROM THIS BAKA YOU FRICKING BAKA! THIS IS SOOO UNKAWAII!"

Midori glared over to Hatsune. "I don't like it either."

"Two girls... Handcuffed together? That's actually kinda HOT!" Rain yelled, only to receive several looks of shock from the others.

"#YouNeedHelp"

"You disgust me." Leaf said.

"BRUH YOU NASTY!" Alisha yelled.

"Evewyone, evewyone! Pwease! Pay attention. Because it's time for the wonderful field twip to officiawwy begin! Eweytime you eawn enuf Gucci Shards, you'll unlock new parts of the park, and earn even more things to do, and events! Now... I'm coming awound wiff a bwosure expwaining all the events that will be occuring today! For today we have a wive pweformance from Rebecca Bwack, Nicki Minaj, and Sayaka Miwey Cywus Maizono!"

I heard several people scream with delight... Or was it fear? When you have good music like Sayaka Miley Cyrus Maizono, and bad music like Nicki Minaj and Rebecca Black, it was impossible to tell...

"And aftew that we have bedtime! Bedtime begins at 10 o'cwock!"

"WELL IMMA STAY UP TILL 10:01. BECAUSE THAT'S JUST HOW I ROLL!" Hinako yelled, only to receive a glare from Seiichi.

"YOU ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT! MISS USAMI, I SHALL MAKE SURE THAT HINAKO GOES TO BED AT PRECISELY 10:00 SHARP!"

"... Your title really should be Super High School Level Tightass. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE!" Hinako yelled, pouting.

"Mister Seiichi?" Hiyoko piped up in a sweet, heartwarming tone.

Seiichi's face went from what appeared to be a very stern tone to one that was more happy. It was strange. Did Hiyoko have some sort of... Shota charm onto himself? "Why... Yes Mr. Fujisaki?" He asked, smiling.

"Since Hinako's going to go to bed at 10:01... I'm gonna go to bed at 10:0**2**!" Hiyoko exclaimed, cutely placing a hand up to his cheeks and puffing them out.

Seiichi gasped loudly, and then fainted.

**(TO BE CONTINUED...)**


End file.
